Can You Be Free From The Past And Live In The Present?
Freedom, what does that mean for you?
I believe it is different for anyone you ask. What freedom meant to me was to be free from my past and the memories that haunted me. The day I realized I was my biggest problem was a day that my journey would start into freedom from the past. I was such a prisoner of my past and couldn’t figure out for the life of me how to get out of it. I was locked in to the memories, the addiction, the lack of self worth and I learned how to use it to benefit my own needs, or so I thought.
I see so many people who struggle with this same way of thinking. I was stuck in my victim mentality and couldn’t see the road to the survivor mentality. It was blocked by self pity and self justification. I was really good at hiding my “real” self from the world for a long time. Except for my immediate family people saw me as this outgoing, strong person who was an overcomer. My friend shared with me she was amazed by my ability to get back up after life knocked be down. Sadly it was an outward appearance because on the inside I was dead and so very lost.
Have you ever felt like there was this person living deep inside you that was trying to get out but were afraid of that person. I always felt there was this person I wanted to be but I didn’t know how to be her. She had so much love inside her and wanted to help people and get past the anger that consumed her. She had this joy that just was contagious and so kind. Why won’t she come out? The problem for me and why she wouldn’t come out was because I blamed everyone for everything. I was unable to look at myself because it was to painful. It was easier to point the finger at the world and justify my behavior and my misery. If you went through what I went through you’d be like this too. What a lie that was. I created most of my own misery.
Yes there were things that happened to me that weren’t my fault, and oh boy did I use them for justification in my own bad behavior an attitude. Hurt people, hurt people. It is such a true statement. It was an amazing day for me when I realized I could live WITH my past instead of IN my past. I didn’t have to keep reliving what was already lived. I could begin to heal. In 2003 a new friend God sent me (Elizabeth) gave me some cassette tapes of a testimony by Joyce Meyer. I listened and cried for hours. When I was done I decided that if this woman whose life so paralleled mine could get past her past then so could I. For the first time in my life I had a flicker of hope that I could walk out of my past into the present.
I really do wish I could say it was easy but it was not. I would struggle and fall many times. I was heading in the right direction but I had some obstacles to overcome. First and foremost I didn’t trust anyone or anything. I was hurt so many times so trust was not something that came easy for me. The thing I would hang on to was that flicker of hope and a determination to heal.
It has been many years since I listened to Joyce’s testimony. I feel like a totally different person today. I got up every time I fell and I never gave up. I began learning about forgiveness and stopped pointing my finger at people. Day by day the prison doors I had myself behind began to open. The day would finally come where I could walk out of my past into the present. I was free. Do I have still have “stuff” that comes up? Yes, but the difference today is I don’t hang on to it. I work through it and I move on.
My passion for so many years has been to help people who struggle like I did and I did help people many times. The problem for me was I would say these encouraging words to someone I was helping but not living by them. I felt like I was this phony because I was giving this wonderful advice and not living it. Today I live it.
I am free and I can say with confidence that you can be free also. I know now that my “real” self was the person deep inside me and she was able to come out and live through healing and I’m Living Free Being Me. My hope for you is that you also find that flicker of hope and grab on to it and run with it. We don’t have to relive the past because guess what? It’s over!! And the beautiful part is that you SURVIVED it if you are reading this. God can use your past to help others in the present. I believe everyone has a story to tell and someone needs to hear your story. There is someone in front of you that needs to hear how you got through your life struggle and needs help getting through theirs.
I can’t change my past and barring a concussion and amnesia I can’t forget it either, but I can live with it and use it. There is a Scripture in the bible that I love in Romans 8:28. It says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” I believe that everything I went through in my life gives me the ability to identify and help people who have suffered the way I did.
What is the purpose of your life?
Are you tired of the struggle?
Are you ready for change?
Are you ready to be free?
My husband and I have a healing ministry and we love to pray with people for emotional and physical healing. If this is something you are interested in please feel free to contact us.
I pray you have a blessed day.