Willingness

​Willingness to walk through the tough things in life is not easy but is essential for change. If we are not willing to go through whatever it takes to get to the other side of obstacles we are fighting a losing battle. It was something I struggled with when it came to certain obstacles in my journey to change. I was willing to give God only so much but the rest I would try to control to no avail. Every time I have tried to control anything it seemed to blow up in my face leaving me with more struggle.
When I became a Christian I was under the impression that all things in my life would just miraculously get better and I would skip through the tulips of life. I didn't understand what "faith without works is dead" actually meant. The belief that the good Lord above was going to come down, heal what ailed me, take all my pain and I would be happy was soon squashed. I didn't understand then that I had to do some footwork if I wanted to change my life. What I learned is it came down to a willingness to change and a choice to do whatever it took to accomplish my goals.
Walk ThroughThe early days of my journey I was still drinking and on my way to the package store. I would tell God that if He didn't want me to drink then stop me. Drop a tree or something if you have all this power. Well, the tree didn't fall and I would go get my supplies and I'd be off and running. I talk to God like He's my friend but I'm not such a jerk today. I was such a mess back then. There was no willingness to walk through the hard stuff so I kept doing the thing that caused me pain until it almost killed me.
My friend told me once, you know Kristina God can remove the desire but He's not going to remove all the package stores. Yes, this is where my part comes in. I have to be willing to make a choice to first, not test God, and second, choose to make the right decision and walk through to the other side.
Willingness to walk through is a huge obstacle for many people. Too often I hear people say they don't want to suffer through withdrawal or relive the past in order to get better and change. We get comfortable with things the way they are and comfortable with the pain and the fear wins. If the devil can keep us in our misery he will do it any way he can and fear is one of his greatest tools. The fear for me was if I stopped drinking I would start to remember and I didn't want to do that. I knew how to handle chaos and I was okay with that.
To The Other SideWhy is fear of change so hard? What will we do with all the time we have when we are not stressing about everything in life? How will I handle life without all the chaos? Won't it be boring? I'm laughing writing this because my life is so not boring. It still has its fill of chaos and stresses but I am sober and free from the things that haunted me. I came to a place where I had a willingness to walk through and live life on God's terms. I prayed my way through withdrawals and suffered for a time but I was willing. Walking through the tough stuff is not easy but because God is so good and walks with us it's doable. There are so many things in life I could never have gotten through on my own strength.
When we look at ourselves we don't give ourselves enough credit. We don't see what other people see in us. My suggestion is to start listening and believing in yourself. If you made it this far you survived all the past up to today. It's over and you never have to relive it again. Come to a place where your past is used to help someone struggling and needs an answer to getting through. If we walk through to the other side and we make it, we can now help others get there too.
WillingnessWhen I talk with people who are struggling the first thing I pray for is willingness. I surrendered my addiction to God and became willing to do whatever it took to get better and I got better. Life around me my first year was one of the most chaotic, eventful, and dramatic years of my life. I made it through by making the right choices and did the footwork to accomplish change in my life. It wasn't easy for me and I was tempted to throw in the towel many times, but I just kept believing there was another side and I wanted to be on it.
Are you willing to come to the other side and walk through whatever it takes to get there? I'm praying for people reading this that a willingness comes over you and you decide to walk through. It's a place where the world around us doesn't necessarily change but everything inside us does. We begin to see, think, react and live differently. A place where we can live on the other side of brokenness. A place where we see the need to grab someone's hand and pray for their willingness to walk through.